I've Been To the Year 2000

I feel somewhat obligated to apologize for this post in advance; after all, it's been many months since I last posted, and this...these... These next posts are going to be very specific, both in culture and medium. See, I've long been interested in Mormon cinema, aka "Mollywood," a portmanteau of Molly Mormon and Hollywood. Why? I don't know exactly! In any case, I posted a plea on Facebook a week or so ago, asking to borrow any Mollywood films my friends and family owned. 

And so it began. 

I kicked off this official session of "research" with two friends who were on seminary council with me, so they are well-acquainted with the eccentricities of Mormon culture. We watched "The Singles Ward" (2002). I cannot even explain how awful it is--on par with "Mobsters and Mormons". The protagonist, an inactive Mormon divorced comedian in his late-20s, talks to the audience like a knock-off of Ferris Bueller, whilst falling for a straight-laced soon-to-be sister missionary and simultaneously falling back into the LDS church. 

Like "Mobsters and Mormons", it's a boring piece of unconfident storytelling that tries to force humor constantly. Plus, the supporting cast is better than the leads, which makes me think that had it been refocussed on those characters and dynamics, it could have been good. [Kevin Malone voice]: "What a waste."

I guess I took issue with how much of a loser the protagonist Jonathan is shown to be, but then everyone just adores him. Wha??? No. The script was :( and most people (even Mormons) wouldn't catch the Mormon celebrity cameos without doing some research. I was rooting for the girl, Cami, or Kammi, or Cammie, or however she spells it (hey, it is Utah!), and I like that she went through with her mission instead of throwing her preparation and calling away, but again, Jonathan seems like a huge loser. 

Did I enjoy watching it? Solid meh. Did I squirm in annoyance constantly? Basically. My final rating would be a generous 51% (it must be just over half). Sorry Swenson; I can't wait to watch your probably equally bad Mormon movies ("Sons of Provo", here I come!).

"The Singles Ward" Trailer

That was last Thursday. On Monday, while my parents and brother were on Trek (Mormon pioneer LARPing), I invited a few friends over for another Mormon movie night. "Pride and Prejudice: A Latter-Day Comedy" (2003) was the material, two Catholic girls and two Mormon girls the audience. I should also note that one of those Catholic friends has not yet watched or read "Pride and Prejudice", so she was going into this with next to no idea of what to expect. 

Cinnamon roll is too pure for this experience

I was really excited to watch this one in particular because I love "Pride and Prejudice", and the BYU culture is well formed for an adaption of the themes and plot. I was eager not to be disappointed, however, due to genre, I knew I had to be prepared for the overwhelming possibility...

And I was disappointed, but only a little. I was irked by how Elizabeth Bennet was rewritten as weaker character (weak primarily in her actual intellect). Also, I would have liked more Mormon and BYU culture in the movie. I know this is risky, because then the film gains a very specific appeal, but I think more eccentric and more consistent cultural displays would have aided the manifestation of the "Pride and Prejudice" plot. I wanted more Bingley sisters and Alpine-Mormon arrogance, and I definitely needed Elizabeth to have more pressure on her to get married. That is what drives most of the plot in the book: economic, cultural, and familial pressure to get hitched. Presumably this would become strictly cultural in the Mormon adaptation, but that would work for me, if only there were accentuated pressure. There is not enough pressure to get married for it to be believable!

What I liked... First, precious Cinnamon Roll and I fawned over Darcy's hair for the entirety of the two hour feature, because his curls are Colin Firth-fleek. We all fawned over the puppy-like Bingley because he was so dorky and precious. I liked that the ladies had their hoorah--even little things like Elizabeth fixed her own car by the side of the highway, no help needed. Collins was sufficiently awkward and pompous, which is very important. Wickham was almost too much of a loser for it to work out, but since he's supposed to a bad apple, I guess it worked out aight. AND I LOVE THAT WICKHAM AND LYDIA ELOPED TO VEGAS, oh my gosh. The little nods to "Pride and Prejudice" were not lost, like how the restaurant Elizabeth meets and tells Darcy off in is called "Rosings", after the "Pride and Prejudice" estate where Elizabeth turns down Darcy's first proposal. Nice touch, guys. Also worth mentioning is the pool (game) scene, because the drama is just flying: black backdrop, witty remarks, cas honesty, Wickham's black shirt, and the fact that playing pool just triples drama... I was dying, just a bit. 

My final percentage rating is 65%, and my overall review is that it is "well-conceived, poorly executed". My favorite "weird adaption" of the book is still "Bride and Prejudice", the Bollywood version. Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh...

"Pride and Prejudice: A Latter-Day Comedy" Trailer

and...

"Bride and Prejudice" Trailer

The "Pride and Prejudice: A Latter-Day Comedy" Crew

And on to the next! S/O to my grandparents and our friends the Alders for lending their DVDs--you're the absolute best!

Scout

So What Was It Like?

 It was

  like

 so totally

 fantastically

awesome.

August Throwback: Krishna Janmashtami

At the temple

And, of course, Dadi's sari help (because I am pathetic)

Summer Throwback: 2/5 Cakes

I'm Being Good. And Bad.

We all do things we aren't exactly proud of... Like eat an experimental cookie, become upset because it wasn't perfect, and proceed to enter the second bakery in ten minutes... Someone stop me. If I used hashtags, I'd say #HellsKitchen. It's fantastic. And a menace to my health. Though I would like to add that I walk everywhere... I'm keeping active between my mouthfuls of sweets... Whatever, I don't even care. I don't have to prove ANYTHING to you. I'm gonna love this biscuit to pieces. 

So.... Favorite spots in New York? Yeah, I have a half-baked list; let's see here...

I love Prospect Heights (the only neighborhood of Brooklyn I've visited thus far), Hells Kitchen, the Upper West Side, and the West Village; I want desperately to explore Queens. I actually just adore the west side of Manhattan at large. I realize that that is geographically an expansive area to love, but I do, I really do... And anyway, I've listed more specific locations below...

Riverside Park
The final scene of You've Got Mail was filmed here, at the 91st Street Garden (the park is four miles long). My cousin and I talked to one of the groundskeepers there last week; he was 93, had been caring for the gardens for over 50 years. He doubled over laughing when Kenny said he looked 83.

Riverside Church
I'd say go, regardless of anything and everything. The prayer room is reason enough; it's marked by silent reverie and Hoffman's painting of Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. Also, I might be extra-partial due to my meeting a new friend here... God works wonders every day.

Museum of Natural History
I HAVE SPENT SO MANY HOURS HERE--I NEED TO SPEND MORE HOURS HERE.

9th Ave and the 1,000,000 Thai Restaurants It Is Home To
Pretty self-explanatory if you know me at all.

Chelsea Market 
Shout out to Sara Clifton (my Brooklynite-turned-Salt Laker neighbor) for highly suggesting a visit to this indoor hub of food, clothes, books, and material goods of other sorts. My visit(s) are now biweekly... Seriously, I buy half of my groceries here because YUM, and there's no shortage of options for lunch, dinner, or dessert. In the midst of my longing for Winder Farms, Ronnybrook, housed in Chelsea Market, has really come through for me. Winder is still better. 

Bleecker Street
It might just be that I like listening to Simon & Garfunkel's song whilst strolling down the tree- and brownstone-lined boulevard, but that's reason enough for it to be one of my favorite places in New York. 

Cones Ice Cream Artisans
Possibly the best ice cream I've had in New York so far... The pistachio was simply splendid, as was the cantaloupe... And every other flavor I've tried thus far.

Brooklyn Museum
This place is a giant palace of artistic expression and learning... The Beaux-Arts Court (below) is where I want everything important in my life to happen, and where I want everything important to my characters to happen. It's the stuff of whimsy, really just so exquisitely beautiful and tranquil! I wouldn't mind running away and living in this museum rather than the Met (sorry, Claudia). They have plenty of fully-furnished rooms and houses to choose from... No joke.

There are others, but I'm pretty much done for now... Oh! This would not be complete without mention of my favorite bakeries! The list includes Levain, Sullivan Street, and Amy's, though the first two far outshine the latter, in my humble, teenage opinion. I like Amy's because it's more accessible to me than the other two: there's one near the office and one near my apartment. 

Anyway, I love you all and hope everyone is taking advantage of the wonders that surround them this summer season, wherever you may be. Don't waste time moping--the wind is calling your name!

Love,
Scout

P.S. Bleachers full album came out today. I totally dig it. 

Come Here Often?

No, I don't. That should be very clear; it's been months since I've posted. So no, nice try.

Well, what to say? So much happens every day, and I am never eager to give out information online. A blog is like a public diary, which to me is an oxymoron; if only I had realized this when I first started a blog, such a long while back. Oh well, it is what it is: the starved blog shall starve some more, no doubt, until it withers away into nothing...

Isn't that sweet?

Whatever, let's tear off this bandage. I'm in New York City, have been for nearly three weeks, and will be until the 31st of July. It's been an excellent learning experience, and I have also had a great deal of fun; no doubt I will continue to do so. I live in the West Village, which is (in my humble opinion) the best place to live on the island - Queens and Brooklyn seem pretty cool too. The West Village is well-situated by the Hudson (where I run) and has a neighborhood vibe that I have not found anywhere else in Manhattan. Besides, living in the West Village means I'm within walking distance of all the delicious food I could possibly want (I just indulged in pistachio and peanut butter-caramel ice cream from Cones, which is five minutes from my apartment, max). It is truly a fantastic area.

...And it makes up for the fact that the MongoDB (where I'm "working") office is located at 43rd and 7th...right next to Time Square. I don't much like Time Square; it functions as the sweaty, infected bellybutton of Manhattan (I also don't much like bellybuttons, but recognize the need for them). Anyway, "work" is great, and I actually do "work"--stop that! I do work! Thank you! 

 Somewhat manic smile... Don't fret, Henry's still alive.

The Guggenheim is cool, the Highline is cool, Chelsea Market is waaaaaayyyyyyyy cool... I like calories. It's, like, whatever... Yep. (To the tune of "Meow Meow:) Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum--can I go home now? I hate this gig... Which I realize I force myself to continue... Yeah, I'm leaving. See you later.

Hole-in-the-wall theater in Brooklyn... Saw a show here that was better than some of what I've seen on Broadway. Also, the tinfoil wall-lining was 100% legit. 

Oh hello, Public Library. You are a thing of beauty. 

Hello, poignant street art from Brooklyn. 

Have a lovely evening not blogging,
Scout, the Reluctant Blogger 

91st Street Garden at Riverside Park: site of the final scene in "You've Got Mail". Very beautiful; the picture does not do it justice. (Come on, Snapchat.)

Smells Like Tween Spirit // A Frolic Through Days Gone By

For a friend; I told you that you'd have "cringe". 

 Mrs. Twiggs' famed 3B ELP US History class // Charlie's Angels

I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end

This past Thursday I decided I ought to look for my old poetry, stories, and other forms-of-expression-more-or-less-immortalized-on-paper and read them. It had been a long time since I had looked at that stuff, and I was intrigued as to the nature of "Tweenage Scout"'s records. I have yet to uncover most of the trove, but I DID find my old journal, which I began writing in on my 12th birthday and completed at some point during my freshman year, and it is prime. I mean, I kind of want to time travel and slap 12/13/14-year-old Scout in the face, but then I wouldn't have such a fabulous time reading my old journals...

"I am no Dickinson and no Wordsworth. I am not Dickens or Twain. I am certainly no Shakespeare. But I am an Asay, and I am like no other." Hahahaha

Clearly I thought I was Sherlock, though; I'm also fairly certain that my eternal bond with Lerin began in CTE.

There are angsty rants about society and the media in conjunction with swine flu, lengthy accounts of summer written in prose, and SONG LYRICS. I know that Tweenage Scout probably thought that she was very deep, and I am glad she believed that, if not simply for the comedic value. I was reading through the verses in my 1st period on Friday with friends and we were laughing so hard we were not crying, no, but sobbing. Tweenage Scout, thank you for believing that you had any musical inclinations, and thank you for trying to prove it. Also, thanks for creating words, ie, disreponand = despondent. 12-year-old Scout used this monster to describe my iPod Touch; I think it's safe to say that I did not grasp the meaning of the word.

I also seem to have been very indecisive:

"I do not want a pet. I want a dog."
"I despise love my mom."
"I HATE writing am too lazy to write in my journal."
"I hate mildly despise writing in my journal."

The transition into "teen angst" is BEAUTIFUL:

"This is the first of my hopeless dreams."
"I am busy. I am tired. I can't wait for summer. Or my senior year. Or no more school. Or to be a grandparent. Or my death. UGH."
"I obsess about stupid things...I lock myself in my room. Blah life sucks."
"There is an abyss in my heart, emptier than a barren wasteland." 

There are also full pages that have been crossed out, with the words, "He lied!", scrawled across them. To clarify, this was not in reference to a boy I liked... Though that would have been the cherry on top.

Sometimes I'm just dull:

"Writing to a friend in Germany. School is semi-cool. Skiing is cool. Got a new red jacket. Too cute. Room is done.""I draw.""I sang and drew."

But I really, really like seeing my relationships with others reflected on the pages:

"Coach Lee is an angel from above. Amazing."
"Isaac Nelson is one of the funniest people to walk the Earth."
"Kassner is so funny and his shoes are amazing! But math is just so-so."
"Well, Emma is in the UK for three weeks, and I miss her, but I shall never tell her because she's Emma." Word to your mother. 

Keiko and me at our first Spirit Bowl. Those glasses. Dang.

Sometimes I really just want to hug Tweenage Scout:

"My passions: daydreaming. Also, I think I can get a falabella." Falabella = a breed of horse; I was planning to keep it in the backyard, because the city and my father would never take issue with that. 
"Kissing is horrifically revolting. The worst part of Pride & Prejudice is when they kiss; why did they have to kiss?!?" Her confusion, though. *Five stars*
"I love people, but I guess I like observing them more, which would explain why I like sitting my myself on Saturday nights watching movies; please don't talk to me." But really, please don't talk to me.
"Gave my Harry Potter Pt. 2 premier ticket to a friend so they could go. I really want to go. I'll go when I get back, though. I can wait." You did something... Nice. I'm... Really proud.

My conclusion: please keep writing, Teenage Scout, or Young Adult Scout will have nothing to look forward to.

I'm just...so happy; life is so very splendid,
Scout

San Fran Spring Break 2011: people are cool.