I'm a self-described feminist, raised in a highly religious household, now attending a private religious school of my own volition, and I have a problem with my religious demographic's weak feminist game, particularly the males. I've spent the last year at BYU and for every marvelous bro I meet there are approximately two others who ask me if I'm a lesbian when they discover I'm a feminist. I don't have to be a woman who is attracted to other women to understand concepts of basic human decency. And neither do you, Joseph/Jacob/John/Jack/Jeremiah (I swear, every BYU boy has a J name).
I have two issues with the lack of Mormon male feminists: 1) you're hurting women, and 2) you're hurting yourselves. Plus (3, yikes) I believe that all Mormons should identify as feminists because Mormonism is fundamentally feminist: doctrinally, Mormonism is feminist in that the concerns of women are the concerns of God. God is keenly aware of the unique trials that being female brings, and God cares about those trials.
Once you decide to take an interest in topics that may not always center on you, do some research, ask some questions, and listen with intent and never respond with "not all men." Listening with intent (eagerness to do your part) is self-explanatory, but the "not all men" thing requires an explanation.
The reason*: Responding with "not all men" derails the woman's argument and insists that instead of making her point she validate you and other men. Buddy, don't do this. You have effectively ignored her real message which was "sexism makes the world uncomfortable and unsafe for me and others." You have become a man we cannot trust with our very real problems because you have exhibited an inability to listen and an unwillingness to help. So, basically you just became one of those men.
Instead, when it comes time for your comment in the dialogue, pull up your boot straps and say something prudent. Remember that "in my experience" can only carry you so far since you are male and have had a male experience, not a female one. You might not be aware of rape culture because it affects you in imperceptible ways, and you might think the wage gap is a myth because you've never experienced it, but these are real problems that haunt real people.
If you are interested in learning about how sexism hurts men, give "The Mask You Live In" a watch. It's a documentary that's part of the Representation Project and it focuses on men's issues like toxic masculinity. They previously did one that focuses on women's issues called "Miss Representation" and I know that one is on Netflix. Both are excellent places to start your feminist awakening, something I'm certain you'll experience sooner or later (so might as well make it sooner).
Honestly, sexism is such a childish thing. I look at the remarkable males in my life (notably my own father and woke peers but also my many paternal figures who are neighbors, professors, home teachers, bishops, etc) and then back at the majority of my male peers and all I can think is "someday you'll regret being so unwilling to listen." Because you will: you'll regret acting disgusted by periods when you realize how incredible (and incredibly agonizing) they are, you'll regret mansplaining when you can never get a second date, and you'll regret cheating on your girlfriends when one day you wipe the tears from your daughter's face because her boyfriend was messing around with someone else.
Quit playin' and level up, homies. Unless you are part of the solution you are part of the problem.
Scout
*important note on "not all men": there are enough men doing these things to make it a social rather than a personal problem, and by derailing discussion you prevent progress against those issues. We know it's not all men! We're not stupid! And it's unlikely that we think you're the, say, date rapist we're discussing. We would confront you if we thought you were, and again, "not all men" would be the incorrect response there.
Friday, June 10, 2016
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Happy Birthday To Me!
A Year in the Life of an Eighteen-Year-Old,
As Told By Eighteen Pictures
As Told By Eighteen Pictures
18th birthday road trip
Cherie, Chay, Kendra, and me
India
Claudie and me outside Carlucci's
Mom and me in Prague
Glenn, Claudie, Wes, Carolyn, Margaret Anne,
Marcelina, and me at West High graduation
Camp Shakespeare
Kate, me, and Margaret Anne outside the Creamery on 9th at BYU
Zoe and me at girls' camp
Millie, Greta, Grandma Asay,
Mom, Lily, and me at Bear Lake
Isaac, Greta, Mom, Lily, Dad, and
me at Cannon Beach (OR)
Mary and I in Washington Square (NYC)
Keiko, Lerin, and me at Settebello (SLC)
The roomies Ashley, Rachel, Christine, Eva,
and me at the new LDS Provo temple
Ashley, Christine, Eva, and me at Mesa Falls (ID)
Me and Tom Cat (Walter) in Blackfoot (ID)
Bretta, Izzy, me, Eravati, Raj, and Gryff
Eva and me feat. some bamboo, Pizza Pillow, backwards
baseball caps, and chocolate chip cookies
And on to nineteen...
In contrast to the enlightening and enriching pain that seventeen brought, eighteen brought some of the greatest joy I have ever known. Factually speaking, I graduated from high school and started college during this time but more significantly the second semester of my senior year and the summer that followed were overflowing with bliss. It was kind of like living in a Disney princess movie where you wake up with the sun and the birds are singing and your hair is perfect. It was a beautiful period of aggregation and I am so grateful I was able to experience it (especially before and after difficult periods of my life).
I am so extremely grateful for the people who I have chosen to be a part of my life and the people who in turn have chosen to be a part of my life. I am grateful for all the people who are in my life by God's design. Thank you for the birthday wishes! I love all of you and God bless you--we're all in this together!
Hasta la vista,
Scout
Thursday, July 16, 2015
I've Been To the Year 2000
I feel somewhat obligated to apologize for this post in advance; after all, it's been many months since I last posted, and this...these... These next posts are going to be very specific, both in culture and medium. See, I've long been interested in Mormon cinema, aka "Mollywood," a portmanteau of Molly Mormon and Hollywood. Why? I don't know exactly! In any case, I posted a plea on Facebook a week or so ago, asking to borrow any Mollywood films my friends and family owned.
And so it began.
I kicked off this official session of "research" with two friends who were on seminary council with me, so they are well-acquainted with the eccentricities of Mormon culture. We watched "The Singles Ward" (2002). I cannot even explain how awful it is--on par with "Mobsters and Mormons". The protagonist, an inactive Mormon divorced comedian in his late-20s, talks to the audience like a knock-off of Ferris Bueller, whilst falling for a straight-laced soon-to-be sister missionary and simultaneously falling back into the LDS church.
Like "Mobsters and Mormons", it's a boring piece of unconfident storytelling that tries to force humor constantly. Plus, the supporting cast is better than the leads, which makes me think that had it been refocussed on those characters and dynamics, it could have been good. [Kevin Malone voice]: "What a waste."
I guess I took issue with how much of a loser the protagonist Jonathan is shown to be, but then everyone just adores him. Wha??? No. The script was :( and most people (even Mormons) wouldn't catch the Mormon celebrity cameos without doing some research. I was rooting for the girl, Cami, or Kammi, or Cammie, or however she spells it (hey, it is Utah!), and I like that she went through with her mission instead of throwing her preparation and calling away, but again, Jonathan seems like a huge loser.
Did I enjoy watching it? Solid meh. Did I squirm in annoyance constantly? Basically. My final rating would be a generous 51% (it must be just over half). Sorry Swenson; I can't wait to watch your probably equally bad Mormon movies ("Sons of Provo", here I come!).
That was last Thursday. On Monday, while my parents and brother were on Trek (Mormon pioneer LARPing), I invited a few friends over for another Mormon movie night. "Pride and Prejudice: A Latter-Day Comedy" (2003) was the material, two Catholic girls and two Mormon girls the audience. I should also note that one of those Catholic friends has not yet watched or read "Pride and Prejudice", so she was going into this with next to no idea of what to expect.
I was really excited to watch this one in particular because I love "Pride and Prejudice", and the BYU culture is well formed for an adaption of the themes and plot. I was eager not to be disappointed, however, due to genre, I knew I had to be prepared for the overwhelming possibility...
And I was disappointed, but only a little. I was irked by how Elizabeth Bennet was rewritten as weaker character (weak primarily in her actual intellect). Also, I would have liked more Mormon and BYU culture in the movie. I know this is risky, because then the film gains a very specific appeal, but I think more eccentric and more consistent cultural displays would have aided the manifestation of the "Pride and Prejudice" plot. I wanted more Bingley sisters and Alpine-Mormon arrogance, and I definitely needed Elizabeth to have more pressure on her to get married. That is what drives most of the plot in the book: economic, cultural, and familial pressure to get hitched. Presumably this would become strictly cultural in the Mormon adaptation, but that would work for me, if only there were accentuated pressure. There is not enough pressure to get married for it to be believable!
What I liked... First, precious Cinnamon Roll and I fawned over Darcy's hair for the entirety of the two hour feature, because his curls are Colin Firth-fleek. We all fawned over the puppy-like Bingley because he was so dorky and precious. I liked that the ladies had their hoorah--even little things like Elizabeth fixed her own car by the side of the highway, no help needed. Collins was sufficiently awkward and pompous, which is very important. Wickham was almost too much of a loser for it to work out, but since he's supposed to a bad apple, I guess it worked out aight. AND I LOVE THAT WICKHAM AND LYDIA ELOPED TO VEGAS, oh my gosh. The little nods to "Pride and Prejudice" were not lost, like how the restaurant Elizabeth meets and tells Darcy off in is called "Rosings", after the "Pride and Prejudice" estate where Elizabeth turns down Darcy's first proposal. Nice touch, guys. Also worth mentioning is the pool (game) scene, because the drama is just flying: black backdrop, witty remarks, cas honesty, Wickham's black shirt, and the fact that playing pool just triples drama... I was dying, just a bit.
My final percentage rating is 65%, and my overall review is that it is "well-conceived, poorly executed". My favorite "weird adaption" of the book is still "Bride and Prejudice", the Bollywood version. Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh...
And on to the next! S/O to my grandparents and our friends the Alders for lending their DVDs--you're the absolute best!
Scout
And so it began.
I kicked off this official session of "research" with two friends who were on seminary council with me, so they are well-acquainted with the eccentricities of Mormon culture. We watched "The Singles Ward" (2002). I cannot even explain how awful it is--on par with "Mobsters and Mormons". The protagonist, an inactive Mormon divorced comedian in his late-20s, talks to the audience like a knock-off of Ferris Bueller, whilst falling for a straight-laced soon-to-be sister missionary and simultaneously falling back into the LDS church.
Like "Mobsters and Mormons", it's a boring piece of unconfident storytelling that tries to force humor constantly. Plus, the supporting cast is better than the leads, which makes me think that had it been refocussed on those characters and dynamics, it could have been good. [Kevin Malone voice]: "What a waste."
I guess I took issue with how much of a loser the protagonist Jonathan is shown to be, but then everyone just adores him. Wha??? No. The script was :( and most people (even Mormons) wouldn't catch the Mormon celebrity cameos without doing some research. I was rooting for the girl, Cami, or Kammi, or Cammie, or however she spells it (hey, it is Utah!), and I like that she went through with her mission instead of throwing her preparation and calling away, but again, Jonathan seems like a huge loser.
Did I enjoy watching it? Solid meh. Did I squirm in annoyance constantly? Basically. My final rating would be a generous 51% (it must be just over half). Sorry Swenson; I can't wait to watch your probably equally bad Mormon movies ("Sons of Provo", here I come!).
That was last Thursday. On Monday, while my parents and brother were on Trek (Mormon pioneer LARPing), I invited a few friends over for another Mormon movie night. "Pride and Prejudice: A Latter-Day Comedy" (2003) was the material, two Catholic girls and two Mormon girls the audience. I should also note that one of those Catholic friends has not yet watched or read "Pride and Prejudice", so she was going into this with next to no idea of what to expect.
Cinnamon roll is too pure for this experience
I was really excited to watch this one in particular because I love "Pride and Prejudice", and the BYU culture is well formed for an adaption of the themes and plot. I was eager not to be disappointed, however, due to genre, I knew I had to be prepared for the overwhelming possibility...
And I was disappointed, but only a little. I was irked by how Elizabeth Bennet was rewritten as weaker character (weak primarily in her actual intellect). Also, I would have liked more Mormon and BYU culture in the movie. I know this is risky, because then the film gains a very specific appeal, but I think more eccentric and more consistent cultural displays would have aided the manifestation of the "Pride and Prejudice" plot. I wanted more Bingley sisters and Alpine-Mormon arrogance, and I definitely needed Elizabeth to have more pressure on her to get married. That is what drives most of the plot in the book: economic, cultural, and familial pressure to get hitched. Presumably this would become strictly cultural in the Mormon adaptation, but that would work for me, if only there were accentuated pressure. There is not enough pressure to get married for it to be believable!
What I liked... First, precious Cinnamon Roll and I fawned over Darcy's hair for the entirety of the two hour feature, because his curls are Colin Firth-fleek. We all fawned over the puppy-like Bingley because he was so dorky and precious. I liked that the ladies had their hoorah--even little things like Elizabeth fixed her own car by the side of the highway, no help needed. Collins was sufficiently awkward and pompous, which is very important. Wickham was almost too much of a loser for it to work out, but since he's supposed to a bad apple, I guess it worked out aight. AND I LOVE THAT WICKHAM AND LYDIA ELOPED TO VEGAS, oh my gosh. The little nods to "Pride and Prejudice" were not lost, like how the restaurant Elizabeth meets and tells Darcy off in is called "Rosings", after the "Pride and Prejudice" estate where Elizabeth turns down Darcy's first proposal. Nice touch, guys. Also worth mentioning is the pool (game) scene, because the drama is just flying: black backdrop, witty remarks, cas honesty, Wickham's black shirt, and the fact that playing pool just triples drama... I was dying, just a bit.
My final percentage rating is 65%, and my overall review is that it is "well-conceived, poorly executed". My favorite "weird adaption" of the book is still "Bride and Prejudice", the Bollywood version. Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh...
and...
The "Pride and Prejudice: A Latter-Day Comedy" Crew
Scout
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
August Throwback: Krishna Janmashtami
At the temple
And, of course, Dadi's sari help (because I am pathetic)
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
I'm Being Good. And Bad.
I love Prospect Heights (the only neighborhood of Brooklyn I've visited thus far), Hells Kitchen, the Upper West Side, and the West Village; I want desperately to explore Queens. I actually just adore the west side of Manhattan at large. I realize that that is geographically an expansive area to love, but I do, I really do... And anyway, I've listed more specific locations below...
The final scene of You've Got Mail was filmed here, at the 91st Street Garden (the park is four miles long). My cousin and I talked to one of the groundskeepers there last week; he was 93, had been caring for the gardens for over 50 years. He doubled over laughing when Kenny said he looked 83.
Riverside Church
I'd say go, regardless of anything and everything. The prayer room is reason enough; it's marked by silent reverie and Hoffman's painting of Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. Also, I might be extra-partial due to my meeting a new friend here... God works wonders every day.
I HAVE SPENT SO MANY HOURS HERE--I NEED TO SPEND MORE HOURS HERE.
9th Ave and the 1,000,000 Thai Restaurants It Is Home To
Pretty self-explanatory if you know me at all.
Shout out to Sara Clifton (my Brooklynite-turned-Salt Laker neighbor) for highly suggesting a visit to this indoor hub of food, clothes, books, and material goods of other sorts. My visit(s) are now biweekly... Seriously, I buy half of my groceries here because YUM, and there's no shortage of options for lunch, dinner, or dessert. In the midst of my longing for Winder Farms, Ronnybrook, housed in Chelsea Market, has really come through for me. Winder is still better.
It might just be that I like listening to Simon & Garfunkel's song whilst strolling down the tree- and brownstone-lined boulevard, but that's reason enough for it to be one of my favorite places in New York.
Cones Ice Cream Artisans
Possibly the best ice cream I've had in New York so far... The pistachio was simply splendid, as was the cantaloupe... And every other flavor I've tried thus far.
This place is a giant palace of artistic expression and learning... The Beaux-Arts Court (below) is where I want everything important in my life to happen, and where I want everything important to my characters to happen. It's the stuff of whimsy, really just so exquisitely beautiful and tranquil! I wouldn't mind running away and living in this museum rather than the Met (sorry, Claudia). They have plenty of fully-furnished rooms and houses to choose from... No joke.
There are others, but I'm pretty much done for now... Oh! This would not be complete without mention of my favorite bakeries! The list includes Levain, Sullivan Street, and Amy's, though the first two far outshine the latter, in my humble, teenage opinion. I like Amy's because it's more accessible to me than the other two: there's one near the office and one near my apartment.
Anyway, I love you all and hope everyone is taking advantage of the wonders that surround them this summer season, wherever you may be. Don't waste time moping--the wind is calling your name!
Love,
Scout
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