Smells Like Tween Spirit // A Frolic Through Days Gone By

For a friend; I told you that you'd have "cringe". 

 Mrs. Twiggs' famed 3B ELP US History class // Charlie's Angels

I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end

This past Thursday I decided I ought to look for my old poetry, stories, and other forms-of-expression-more-or-less-immortalized-on-paper and read them. It had been a long time since I had looked at that stuff, and I was intrigued as to the nature of "Tweenage Scout"'s records. I have yet to uncover most of the trove, but I DID find my old journal, which I began writing in on my 12th birthday and completed at some point during my freshman year, and it is prime. I mean, I kind of want to time travel and slap 12/13/14-year-old Scout in the face, but then I wouldn't have such a fabulous time reading my old journals...

"I am no Dickinson and no Wordsworth. I am not Dickens or Twain. I am certainly no Shakespeare. But I am an Asay, and I am like no other." Hahahaha

Clearly I thought I was Sherlock, though; I'm also fairly certain that my eternal bond with Lerin began in CTE.

There are angsty rants about society and the media in conjunction with swine flu, lengthy accounts of summer written in prose, and SONG LYRICS. I know that Tweenage Scout probably thought that she was very deep, and I am glad she believed that, if not simply for the comedic value. I was reading through the verses in my 1st period on Friday with friends and we were laughing so hard we were not crying, no, but sobbing. Tweenage Scout, thank you for believing that you had any musical inclinations, and thank you for trying to prove it. Also, thanks for creating words, ie, disreponand = despondent. 12-year-old Scout used this monster to describe my iPod Touch; I think it's safe to say that I did not grasp the meaning of the word.

I also seem to have been very indecisive:

"I do not want a pet. I want a dog."
"I despise love my mom."
"I HATE writing am too lazy to write in my journal."
"I hate mildly despise writing in my journal."

The transition into "teen angst" is BEAUTIFUL:

"This is the first of my hopeless dreams."
"I am busy. I am tired. I can't wait for summer. Or my senior year. Or no more school. Or to be a grandparent. Or my death. UGH."
"I obsess about stupid things...I lock myself in my room. Blah life sucks."
"There is an abyss in my heart, emptier than a barren wasteland." 

There are also full pages that have been crossed out, with the words, "He lied!", scrawled across them. To clarify, this was not in reference to a boy I liked... Though that would have been the cherry on top.

Sometimes I'm just dull:

"Writing to a friend in Germany. School is semi-cool. Skiing is cool. Got a new red jacket. Too cute. Room is done.""I draw.""I sang and drew."

But I really, really like seeing my relationships with others reflected on the pages:

"Coach Lee is an angel from above. Amazing."
"Isaac Nelson is one of the funniest people to walk the Earth."
"Kassner is so funny and his shoes are amazing! But math is just so-so."
"Well, Emma is in the UK for three weeks, and I miss her, but I shall never tell her because she's Emma." Word to your mother. 

Keiko and me at our first Spirit Bowl. Those glasses. Dang.

Sometimes I really just want to hug Tweenage Scout:

"My passions: daydreaming. Also, I think I can get a falabella." Falabella = a breed of horse; I was planning to keep it in the backyard, because the city and my father would never take issue with that. 
"Kissing is horrifically revolting. The worst part of Pride & Prejudice is when they kiss; why did they have to kiss?!?" Her confusion, though. *Five stars*
"I love people, but I guess I like observing them more, which would explain why I like sitting my myself on Saturday nights watching movies; please don't talk to me." But really, please don't talk to me.
"Gave my Harry Potter Pt. 2 premier ticket to a friend so they could go. I really want to go. I'll go when I get back, though. I can wait." You did something... Nice. I'm... Really proud.

My conclusion: please keep writing, Teenage Scout, or Young Adult Scout will have nothing to look forward to.

I'm just...so happy; life is so very splendid,
Scout

San Fran Spring Break 2011: people are cool.